All The Single Ladies!

This Friday I am heading to New Orleans for the wedding of soon-to-be Mrs. Ashley Ramirez. I am looking forward to the whole weekend…mani/pedis, yummy rehearsal dinner, Pat O's, the salon, the wedding itself, the reception and lastly super bowl Sunday in NOLA. It is pretty much a guaranteed good time. There is however this one moment at all weddings that I have come to dread politely avoid. The bouquet toss. I duck the inane ritual just as naturally as I did softballs in 4th grade P.E.

In the past I have often successfully avoided this pesky right of passage with strategically timed restroom visits, hitting up the bar located farthest from the dance floor and squeezing the leg of my date to let him know he has no chance with me if he dare calls me out. I know there are many a lady that really get into the bouquet toss and believe in it the same way I believe in horoscopes and Zoltar. But, for me, no thanks. I'm good.

I actually have photographic evidence that does a great job demonstrating my natural reaction to the bouquet toss, as well as that of a few of my dear "Single Ladies". This is a picture from the spring 2005 wedding of my sorority lil' sis Kacee Newton Harvey. I have also numbered some other key players in this particular toss…



A. I'm starting with me because well it's my blog and I can. As you can see my enthusiasm is oozing. I am courteous enough to smile because I do know there are pictures being taken, BUT please note that my hands are firmly at my side.

B. Behind me is Christina. Her enthusiasm is even oozier than mine. She took a little different approach. My guess is that she was going for the darn-it-to-heck-I-have-a-drink-in-my-hand-and-can't-fully-go-for-it strategy.

C. Then we have Sister P. She's not letting that drink in her hand blow her chances. I'll give it to her, I can appreciate the dedication there...to both the competition at hand and the drink at hand ;)

D. Sikes is a bit of a romantic and looks quite confident this particular evening. In hindsight, as many bouquets as I've seen this girl catch she has reason to be. From what I can tell she is pretty tough competition on the bouquet toss circuit.

The gaggle of ladies on the left can be replaced by different faces at different weddings but they always have the same gusto. As you can see, we have elbows, bridesmaid's dresses, teeth clenching and excitement of what this all could mean, EEEEKK!!!!! Really, I love all the girls in this picture and I don't let that 5 minutes ruin my night. And to be fair, I should note that all four of us are still single. Sooo, maybe there is something to this game after all…nah. I still can't convince myself of it!

Now then, back to this weekend and the title of this post. I don't have an elaborate itinerary to avoid the b-toss this Saturday night. I am actually looking forward to it and will be a very eager and happy participant. You see, I have a feeling about it. No, not that I'm going to catch the floral promissory of nuptial bliss. My feeling is much deeper than that and it involves Beyonce. Yes, Beyonce.

It came to me about half way through the first time I heard her latest ex-girlfriend empowering ballad "All The Single Ladies". Pretty sure my thought was "Oh God, this is now going to be the song of choice to round up all the single ladies for the bouquet toss. Why am I thinking of bouquet tosses while driving home from getting my brows waxed. The bouquet toss is so stupid. I think that is reason enough to hate this song. No wait, I like it? Nope, I don't like Beyonce. I don't care if she's from Houston. Maybe I need to hear it again." So the next time I heard it my thought was "Oh God, this is REALLY going to be the song of choice to round up all the single ladies for the bouquet toss. Why am I thinking of bouquet tosses again? The bouquet toss is so stupid. Did I hate this song? No, wait I liked it? Nope, still not a fan of Beyonce. I don't care if she's from Houston. I think I'll have to hear it again." Well, after seeing this little girl I've actually decided I like it!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CU2JhYM8tY (Hey, I'm still new to this blogging thing, I'll embed videos once I get a little more blog-savvy.)

So, don't worry Ashley I really am looking forward to the bouquet toss and testing my new theory. I guess I'm turning over a new leaf for yet another year of wedding festivities. Plus I know you'll read this and I've blown any chances of ducking out this time around!

Laissez les bon temps roulez!!!